It's a New Day...

I'd say I'm feeling good, but I'm not. I had a very weak weekend food-wise and I'm kind of beating myself up about it. I had a really horrible dream that made me wake up headachy and miserable on Sunday, and the feeling kind of stayed with me. I ate an entire half-pound of bacon in the morning, went to NY Fries for lunch (and it wasn't even good!) and then pulled out a lone, hidden bag of namkeen from the pantry and ate half of it. I then spent the rest of the evening angry with myself, and still smarting from the very painful dream, and ended up breaking down completely while talking to Rob and sobbing uncontrollably for an hour or so :(

Didn't get to bed until midnight and so today I'm exhausted and still very sad (two years and a bit later, and the pain is still as raw and fresh as the day it happened). BUT. Today is a new day. I don't have to repeat yesterday's mistakes, and I won't either. It's cold and rainy, and it's that time of the month (yay...) and I feel horrible (soooo not hungry), but I will remember why I am doing what I'm doing. I'll remember what my motivation is for all the changes I'm trying to make in my life. I *will* fit some sort of physical activity into my day, and I *will* eat foods that will encourage, and not discourage me from reaching my goals. I *will* work on organizing my home because my kids and I are worth it and I *will* work on decluttering my house and my life because I don't need the extra weight there either ;)

I may not physically feel too good, but I have two fantastic kids and a wonderful man standing behind me, and friends who support me, and life is good. The sun is currently peeking intermittently from behind a bank of clouds. If I just wait for the clouds to part, the sun will come out again. I just have to be patient and determined :)