Homework!

A friend has kindly offered to be a kind of fitness coach for me (she's eminently qualified!) and she gave me some homework last week :) Since I've gotten so bad at this that I even forgot to post my weigh-in on Friday (it was 278 - again), I figured I'd post my homework here.

The first thing she asked me to make a list of was reasons I want to lose weight / get in better shape:

1. I want to feel better and have more energy. I want to be able to keep up with my kids and maybe even show them a thing or two ;)
2. I want to take kayaking classes with my kids (in other words, I'd like to fit in the kayak!)
3. I want to be able to shop at Coldwater Creek and other stores I really like and buy REGULAR sizes!
4. I don't want my children to be embarrassed by comments their friends make about how fat their mom is.
5. I want to be able to wear a skirt without having to put a pair of shorts on underneath because my thighs rub together.
6. I want to look good. I mean GOOD. I want Rob's eyes to bug out when he sees me wearing something sexy ;)
7. I don't want to be embarrassed to be seen eating.
8. I want to learn to wear high heels.
9. I want to be able to ride a bike, hike or do whatever I want.
10. I want to stop thinking about what I'm going to eat next.
11. I want to be able to knit myself clothes and not go broke buying the yarn ;)
12. I want to be able to fly somewhere without feeling uncomfortable in the seat, or be able to sit in a booth in a restaurant.
13. I want to prove to my family (and whoever else) that I'm capable of losing the weight, whether they think I can or not :)

The second thing she asked me to make a list of was my goals, short- and long-term:

1. I will wear the tank top I knitted by Christmas (it's an XL).
2. I will see 260 lbs by Christmas Eve.
3. I will be able to climb the stairs at work (3 flights) without gasping for breath).
4. I will be able to walk around Pink Lake with Rob and the kids next summer.
5. I will see 200 lbs on the scale by my next birthday.
6. I will fit into the size 20 jeans that are in my closet before spring (current size 24/26).
7. I will be able to walk away from a plate if I'm no longer hungry WHEN I'M ALONE.
8. I will be able to climb all six flights of stairs at work by the new year.
9. I will make it through a yoga class without tears.
10. I will be able to get on a bike next summer.
11. I will be able to wear a size 14 again and shop in a regular store.
12. I will be able to walk a 5km without needing to sleep for several hours afterward to recover (nearly there! I don't require sleep anymore, but I am completely wiped out after).

Third list was the challenges I face:

1. Avoidance when it comes to getting off the computer and getting some physical activity done when I'm alone (i.e. I'm lazy).
2. Emotional eating, stress-based eating, boredom and loneliness eating.
3. Failure to plan (when fast food is just the most convenient option).
4. Laziness where cooking is concerned.
5. Justifying the exercise avoidance so that I won't be guilt-tripped later.
6. No motivation to exercise when I'm alone.
7. No time for any kinds of exercise that really interest me (aquafit, tai chi).
8. Arthritis pain sometimes prevents me from doing much.
9. I don't respect regular mealtimes when I'm alone on weekends.
10. If something is on sale, even if it's unhealthy, I'll buy it and then feel obligated to eat it all.
11. I eat so fast that I keep feeling hungry until I've over-eaten and then I feel really sick and/or guilty.
12. I tend to eat mindlessly so that I don't realize how much I've had until I'm uncomfortable.
13. I tend to binge when I'm alone -- I'm embarrassed to eat in front of people.

So that was my homework. Today's triumphs have included making a cup of tea and getting some raw veggies to snack on when tempted with a bake sale at work (the girls have all been telling me that since we're doing yoga later, I can treat myself... no, I can't. "Treating myself" becomes normal behavior and it's a slippery slope) and pushing the veggies away after a few celery sticks because I wasn't really hungry. They'll either be an afternoon snack, or part of dinner when I *am* hungry. I will be going to yoga class at lunch, so hopefully that will go well! It was pretty brutal last week, but it was my first time, and I did practice a few of the easier poses at home.

At some point this weekend, I want to make some acorn squash soup (for me) and a batch of apple butter (for my cousin's father-in-law). I'm only working Friday evening and Saturday evening, so we'll see how it goes!